The Right Words to Say
______________________________________
By Kavy Xaynouvong Oct. 25th 2010
Sometimes people just can’t grasp the right words to say in order to comfort one another. In this short article, I will try to break it down to basic actions or (words) you may have to use during those times when someone is in need. No matter what it is; it could be a friend or relative having a hard time in life, relationship problems, or any type of issue that involves stress or often times depression.
Knowing the person: Be sure that the person you are trying to help or solve an issue with can trust you. Trust is the main key to succeeding with the right words to say. Usually when we try to help the ones we dearly love the most, trust most likely has been established. Knowing a person definitely helps trying to find a perspective they are most comfortable with. For example, we want to try to explain words in ways they would understand but using your point of view. In some cases we would need to share their point of views and combine them to make it even more understandable.
Getting the first words out: In most cases we don’t know what to say at first. So during the time before we do know, try clearly getting to know all the details of the other person’s problem. Ask them what about the problem bothers them the most, what other people around the problem were involved, what they intend on trying to do to fix the problem. In some cases it is good to agree with most the things they throw out. If they were mad, tell them that you are upset about it too or that what happened was not right. If they are feeling depressed, tell them things are going to be fine. Say something that will give them hope. Mention people who love them and the importance they have around you and others. Give detail to why you care about them so much. In example, “ without you I wouldn’t know how to ______.” Or “ you make my life so much better because ______.”
Relationships: These are problems we face between ourselves and loved ones. Sometimes things happen between us and another person. Arguments and a distant feeling do occur. In this case, these are really important to have in a 1on1 oral conversation. Both people need to give their insights and stories to one another then compare and contrast; Meaning finding the similarities and main differences. There is no such thing as the perfect way to say things. But we want to know what one another is feeling and solve these issues with meaningful words. Even if the right words don’t come out, try to elaborate on what you are saying. Give examples and try to find common ground. It is always to repeat yourself over and over but using different ways of saying it to get your point across. Keep the conversation settle and relaxed as much as possible. Raising your voice will alarm the other person causing a bigger Situation. Aw Yeah! Anyways, keep in mind when trying to say things, don’t hesitate. If the other person takes it wrong, correct them and indulge them with your point of view, this is where the various ways of repeating what you are trying to get across comes in handy.
